The Grand Ennui

A group blog that I am a member of has decided to adopt a third world orphan.

His name is Wing Loo, and he is indeed an adorable little Chinese lad.

Our decision to adopt.

Wing Loo discovers his feminine side.

Wing Loo's Olympic moment.

Wing Loo's  vacation wardrobe.

This morning as I was lifting MB out of her chair I accidentally hit the top of her head against the wall, and I started apologizing profusely, then as she was rubbing the top of her head she sarcastically said ...

"Well, as long as you're sorry."

I really hate sarcasm in old people, it is so unattractive.

1. I was a rodeo clown back in the 70's. False

2. I was the roadie for balding funnyman Gallagher in charge of purchasing the watermelons. False

3. I was stumped for a third thing for over ten minutes. True, I kept wanting to write something about the pizza I had yesterday, but was too confused to make it work.

4. I was voted most improved something or other when I was in some group, or club, or athletic endeavor while I was in high school. False, I was groupless, clubless, and endeavorless.

5. Remember the smudge of the dead bug on my monitor from a couple of weeks ago? I still haven't cleaned it off. True, it's stll there and I call him Biff.

6. I sat in my car in the parking lot of the county mental health facility for 45 minutes in the rain and listened to Jim Kweskin's Jug Band on one of my mp3 players while drinking a refill of a large Decaf Diet Coke from McDonald's, and felt incredibly melancholy while doing so. True, sighhhhhhhh. I think it was the rain, which was pretty heavy, and the 60's memories from the Jug Band music that made me melancholy.

7. Seven is my lucky number. False, it's more like 8 and half ... hahahaha

8. There was this one girl one time who kept calling me on the phone and, ummmmmm, nah, even I know this one's a lie. False, or maybe it's true because I knew it was a lie, so I guess either answer is acceptable.

9. When I was in college my whole creative writing class attended a reading given by Charles Bukowski, and I was the only one who had ever heard of him because I had once read a short story of his that was published in Hustler magazine. True, and on the walk to the reading I almost broke off from the group and went to the Student Union to play Pong.

10. I worship at the altar of pizza. I guess this a yes, and did you know that I didn't start liking pizza until I was in my mid twenties, whereas, I had my first BK when I was 17 when I worked there while in high school.

Take Hungry Howie's What Crust Are You Quiz ... here.

 I am Butter
Butters are typically very driven individuals. Single-minded and very ambitious, the Butter doggedly pursues his or her agenda until victory can be claimed. If there is an obstacle in the Butter’s way, the Butter simply removes it. You don’t cross a Butter. ’Nuff said? Butters do whatever they want for a living.

1. I was a rodeo clown back in the 70's.

2. I was the roadie for balding funnyman Gallagher in charge of purchasing the watermelons.

3. I was stumped for a third thing for over ten minutes.

4. I was voted most improved something or other when I was in some group, or club, or athletic endeavor while I was in high school.

5. Remember the smudge of the dead bug on my monitor from a couple of weeks ago? I still haven't cleaned it off.

6. I sat in my car in the parking lot of the county mental health facility for 45 minutes in the rain and listened to Jim Kweskin's Jug Band on one of my mp3 players while drinking a refill of a large Decaf Diet Coke from McDonald's, and felt incredibly melancholy while doing so.

7. Seven is my luck number.

8. There was this one girl one time who kept calling me on the phone and, ummmmmm, nah, even I know this one's a lie.

9. When I was in college my whole creative writing class attended a reading given by Charles Bukowski, and I was the only one who had ever heard of him because I had once read a short story of his that was published in Hustler magazine.

10. I worship at the altar of pizza.

1. The Bob Evans mashed potatoes were not very good.

2. My neck doesn't hurt too bad tonight.

3. I bought gas today. It was $3.73 a gallon.

4. I'm eating a pudding cup because my package chock full of Austrian chocolate still hasn't arrived, and I'm blaming it on the Olympics.

5. Richard Widmark was a great actor.

6. So was Glenn Ford.

7. I got a handful of messages on buzznet today, none of them spam.

8. I had potato chips for the first time in over two years last week.

9. MB told me last night that she thinks I am allergic to ham, but she wouldn't tell me why.

10. My replacement power cord for my Gateway laptop still hasn't arrived ... STILL ... FUVKIN' STILL. I blame Curly.

11. V is the new C.

12. I never noticed how small my hands are compared to the rest of my body.

13. Ten Four, over and out.

Her email:

My Love
How is your day today?I believe is fine.
Mine here is hot and like you know i am living in the refugee camp here in Dakar. In this camp we are only allowed to go out only on mondays and fridays of the weeks.
Its just like one staying in the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come out here soon.
I don't have any relatives now whom i can go to as all my relatives ran away in the middle of the war.
The only person i have now is  Rev.Ebel Moses who is the pastor of the (Living Spring Christian Church) here in the camp, he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i live in the females's hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women.
The Pastors Tel number is (+221772008345) if you call, please tell him that you want to speak with me so that he will send for me in the hostel. Call 1pm my time today please.
As a refugee here i don't have any right or privilledge to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country.
I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the traggic incident that lead to the death of my parents took place.
Please listen to this,i have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which i will send to you latter,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank in Europe which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $3.8M(Three Million Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars). So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.
I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me.
So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to  yourself and don't tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it.
Remember i am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you.
I like honest and understanding people,truthful and a Man of vision,truth and hardworking.
My favourite language is english.Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have alot to tell you. Call around 1pm my time today
Have a nice day and think about me.
Awaiting to hear from you soonest,Yours Forever in mind,
Miss. Stella

My reply:

STELLA BABU!!!
To be honest with you, it sounds like a pretty nice refugee camp that
you are staying in, with computers and internet access and everything.
Speaking of internet access, do you know anything about WiFi. I'm
thinkoing about getting it, but I'm a really computer newbie and don't
know anything about it. Any thoughts you have would be greatly
appreciated. And yeah. if I were still in college and was backbacking
through Afriaca I would seriously consider trying to spend a few
nights at your refugee camp!
When you say call you at 1pm do you mean 1pm my time, 1pm your time,
or 1 pm GMT. I've had a little bit too much to drink today so you'll
have to be a bit more specific ... k?
And another thing, be careful with youyr dealings with Rev Evil Moses,
it's not unusual for a young fair skinned girl like you to have her
advantages taken with by older more wiser men who would love to do
their way with young fair skinned girls like yoursefl, but of course I
am nothing like that being a man of vision, truth, and hardworking,
but this Rev Evil Mopses sounds kind or visionless,f untrustworty, and
softwprking, and even his name sound s evil, if you know what I mean,
and believe me, I am just loojking out for youy Stella my sweet little
african violet.
You don't have to tell me that your favorite language is English, you
write beautifully al,most like an artist with a paint by number set.
Tell me what you need of me Miss Stella and I will do every7thing
within my ppwer as a former doctpr and current Rapp artist to do what
I can do to meet the needs that are needed by you.
Yours trulu
Li'l Boz
PS - Where are the photographs you promised, and if I can make one
more photographic request, could you send me some pictures of you
along with some of your female freinds in the female hostel having
pillow fights wearing nothing but your socks . (that's if they let you
have pillpws, if not, socks onluy will do, and the more femkale
friends the better.

Stella's email

HOPING TOP KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU SOONEST

My Beloved
Its lovely reading from you today,How is your day over there and your family members?I hope every body is fine,
My name is Stella Kofia from Ivory Coast in African,I am 23years old,Fair in complexion with 5.5ft tall,Never married before.

I contacted you on the dating site after going through your profile because what i read in your profile pleases me and i said to my self that you are the right man i needed to spend the rest of my life with,I need a man of vision,love and trust.
For me i am presently living in a refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of death of my parents which took place doing the war that took place in my country,The rebels attack me and my parents when we are driving down to the air port to board our self to United Kingdom where my late father business is situated But unfortunately for us that very day,The rebels attack us on the way and killed my parents in a cold blooded before my present and when they are after my late father money and properties that is inside the car,Then i escape away from them,From there i ran away to a near by country here in Senegal to reside as refugee in other to safe guard my life on the type of sock i have when they are killing my parents before my presents.
Here my father was a very rich man well known business man in my country and out side the country But i will never tall you further secrets until i hear from you and know more about you and your eagerness to see me out of here to live a better life again,Then i will now open up to you all the secret and foundation my late father planted for me as the only child when he was alive.
I would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes,your hobbies and what you are doing presently including some more of your pictures,Then when i see all these,I will now open up to you and tell you the hole secret about me and also give you contact number to reach me ok
God bless you as i wait to read from you soonest,I have attached my picture for you here.
Yours Lovely Baby
Stella

My reply.

STELLA BABY !!!
Perhaps I should tell you a little bit about myself two.
My name is Li'l Boz, and yes, that is my real name not a nickname, I took this name legally after I quit being a doctor and decidede to be a rapp star.
Alas, my parentes also died tragically. Despite the fact that they were bith former Nobel Prize winners they died in a freak accident which was also tragic when they tore the tags off a brand new bed matress anmd thje matress exploded killing them bothj, so I guess they really do mean it when they say not to remove thye tag ... loloilol, and don't worry, I am not lolololing at my parents, the former Nobel Prize winners, I am laughing with them, wherever they may be.
Excuse, but whenever I think about your personal tragedioes I need to stop and collect myself a bit. Holkd on justa second.
It didn't help. I will have to wait until next time to commisserate with you about the tragic lost of your parents at the hands of rebelos, or clowns, or whoever it was that killed them with their hands in front of your very eyes wearing only socks.
Stupid me, I always thought Senegal was a brand of m,outhwash!!! lololol
Here are some pictures of me like you asked.
One is me goofing around with my friends Chet and Britnie, and yeah, she spells it with an ie, but I think she'll grow out of it.
Another is of me being a doctor like I used to be.
And the last one is me doing my rapp star act at a local karaoke club near where I live.
Please send me more pictures of you, and if you take requests could you send me a picture of you wearing only the socks you wearing when you parents tragically lost their lives at the hands of rebels, or clowns, or pirates.
Yours truly
Li'l Boz

From
stellababy 
Date 08/07/2008 4:23 PM
Subject stellakofia407@yahoo.com
stellakofia407@yahoo.com
How is your day.......
I saw your profile at www.buzznet.com and some thing about you move my intress to comminicate with you so how is life treating you.
Please i want you to use this email address to write me back(stellakofia407@yahoo.com) so that i can give you my picture and tell you more about me ok.stay cool and enjoy your self.kisesssssssssss
Yours lovely Stella

My reply:
Stella ... BABY!!!
My day is Thusdauy, how is your day?
Yes, I understand, peopl;e opften tell me how I move them, to another room, to another city, to another state, to anothyer coungtry ... lololololol
But seriosuly it is good when someone shows intress in me, and communiocating with you will ease the tension of my red headed step child existance, thank you veryilyu much.
You are a very handsome woman according to the picture you sent me, and I don't mean handsome in a lesbian sort of way either, butr seriously, if your hair were a little shorter, you certainly could pass as a lesbian, if you wanted to.
Stella ... BABY!!!
I am really looking forward to yuo telloing me more about youself, and if I may be so bold I would expecially like to hear about your experiencing the lose of your virginity, unless it was with a farm aninal or a household appliance.
Stella ... BABY !!!
You are so beautiful, please send me many mor pictures of your sel;f, and if you have any with slightly less clothing and slightly more skin I would even look at them late at night when I enjoying my self kisssssssssssssssssssssssses.
Yours truly
Li'l Boz

I actually fell asleep before 2 am this morning, and slept through till 7 am.

Then I got up and had breakfast and watched part of an old John Wayne movie where he's a soldier and he kills a lot of other soldiers, and everybody hates him, but he's just doing his job, and he's really a pretty swell guy, and the blonde woman that hates him the most is slowly falling in love with him, and then I finished eating and turned off the movie.

Then I took my meds, just two of them, it's not like I have a whole table full of meds that I have to take at various times during the day. I've just got the two that I take in the morning unless I forget, which has happened a few times, but not too much.

Now I am going back to bed, and oh yeah, I slept with the window open last night, so maybe that helped, and I always hated sleeping with any windows open until I was in my thirties, and explain that to me if you can.

1. I have heartburn.

2. I have an insect bite on my ankle.

3. I have an itch that I can't stop scratching on my leg.

4. I have a new re certified computer that doesn't work and tech support says it is the power cord, and I'm saying why didn't they check that when they re certified it, but they are sending me a new power cord, and hopefully this magical new power cord will make my new re certified computer work.

5. I have guilty feelings because the mental health professional who is supposed to see me on Monday is in the hospital, and I'm pretty sure that I have something to do with it, and maybe I can talk about my guilt feelings to the new mental health professional who is going to see me on Monday, but a half hour earlier.

6. I have a sore neck because the sofa sleeper that I tried to sleep on last night kept falling apart on me, and I ended up just closing it up and sleeping on the couch.

7. I have seven toes on my left foot, nah, I'm kidding you, this is number 7, and I couldn't think of another thing that I have tonight, and that just sort of lept from my fingers onto the keyboard.

8. Ohhh, ok, this isn't a ten thing, but the person that I chatted with on buzznet chat last night was none other than ... Zenabby, who happens to hate Gordon Lightfoot and all that he stands for, and I forgot to tell Zenabby that I hate that guy who sang Cat's In The Cradle, and I'd tell you his name, but I can't remember what it is, or maybe I should say was because he is dead. And yeah, Zenabby initiated the chat, so who's the stalker ... HUH, who's the stalker.

9. I mentioned that I have heartburn, didn't I. It's not too bad. I've had worse, and I bet that bastard Gordon Lightfoot never gets heartburn.

10. The itch on my leg that I can't stop scratching is now officially categorized as a mosquito bite, which is not as bad as Zenabby's cat bite, but I didn't taunt the mosquito like Zenabby taunted her cat, so that counts in my favor.

When my sister and my brother in law came up for a visit in January of this year my garage door broke, and the clothe rack in my bedroom closet also broke.

Coincidence, well, or course it is, until you consider events of the past few days.

On Saturday night, the day after they left to drive up here, I dreamt that they had a minor accident with their motor home, nothing serious, just a little dent and scratch. Sooooo, about the first thing my brother in law told me was that on Saturday while trying to maneuver the motor home into a gas station island he backed into one of the protective pylons and, and, and, and ...

Yes, a little dent and scratch (cue One Step From Beyond music)

Then today, I kept having to change from my regular glasses to my computer glasses, and there were jokes made about it, and, and, and, and ...

After they left I started looking for my glasses, and there they were on the end table in the living room, and when I went to put them on I discovered that the ear piece had broken off on the right side (cue Twilight Zone music)

Yeah, big deal, but I just took MB to the bathroom and she wanted me to sit with her for a little while, so this is what you get, and I think MB might be asleep, so I can go back to bed, and hopefully fall asleep watching a movie ...

And did I tell you that as soon as I opened the shades in the living room this morning, the bird that mocks me who I think has stopped mocking me and has started enjoying my company, any way as soon as I opened the shades, at like six in the morning, the damn bird started chirping and singing and didn't stop until ... well he didn't stop period.

Ok, let's see how I mangle this.

Madonna and I are both from Michigan.

When I was in college Madonna was in high school.

The college I went to was in the same town that Madonna lived in at the time.

I used to drive by Madonna's high school everyday.

I mean, I drove by it every day, but I wasn't stalking her or anything, I mean, I wasn't stalking anyone that was going to Madonna's high school. It just happened to be on the route I took to college everyday, and so what if it wasn't the fastest route, you still can't prove I was stalking anybody, and even if I was it wasn't that big a deal, because she wasn't famous yet or anything, and really, if anyone was stalking anyone it was probably Madonna stalking me, because I was going to college, and I had a car, and I could buy alcohol, and she was just a high school kid, so yeah, she was probably stalking me, and now I feel so used.

I'm going to really try to do this random and not exclude any songs that I might be embarrassed if you knew I actually had them on my Zune.

1. Do Anything You Wanna Do - Eddie and the Hot Rods. I first heard this song back in 1978, and thought it really kicked ass, so I bought the LP, which didn't kick ass, so this would have been one of those songs that if they had computers and music downloads back then that I would have downloaded, which I did about six months ago.

2. Born In Chicago - Paul Butterfield Blues Band. About as close as a group of white boys can get to playing the blues, and where is Mike Bloomfield now that we need him, yep, dead, of course.

3. Can't Explain - Arthur Lee and Love. Even though they were billed as Love you sort of have to slip Arthur Lee into the mix because otherwise you'll have a hella (and there's that word again) time finding songs by them to download, and I like to think of them as the fathers of psychedelic music, but if not the fathers, then at least the uncles who bought you wine and didn't keep the change even if you expected them to.

4. My Back Pages - The Byrds. If I ever put together a group of Dylan cover songs and put them on a cassette, or a cd, or an mp3 player, or on a micro chip implanted into my brain this would be my 8th selection

5.Walk Away Renee - The Left Banke. This song sort of makes me get all misty even after 42 years because it was playing the first time I ever felt up a girl below the waist, her name was Gail, to bad it wasn't Renee,  then we'd have a story!

6. Sex - Berlin. This song always makes me think of the Bader-Meinhof Gang, even though I'm pretty sure that maybe only the base player had any connection with the gang, and then only a tertiary connection.

7. One Two Many Mornings - Bob Dylan. I always liked to play this song when I had a hangover, and got kicked out of bed by some hooker who would rob my boots and steal my thoughts, and kick me in the shins, and then throw back her head and walk out of the room laughing something about never ever ever being called Joan Baez in the throes of passion.

8. Cindy's Cryin' - Tom Paxton. A sad sad song about a woman who was a hooker on Bleeker Street and a junkie too, and the man that loved her, and seriously, some guys just always seem to pick the wrong woman, an maybe I'm not talking about myself, but maybe I am.

9. A Bunch Of Lonesome Heroes - Leonard Cohen. One time I was listening to this song while in the car alone and I was so struck by one of the verses that I had to pull over to the side of the ride and try not to cry for about five minutes. Oh wait, that was a different Leonard Cohen song.

10. Haunted - Shane McGowan and Sinead O'Conner. If I were to sing a love song, a duet, with a chick I really had the hots for, and knew I had no chance in the fuck of scoring with this chick, I would just blow her mind by singing "you were so cool you could have put out Vietnam" and then walk away with dignity, and all my teeth,

So, I'm sitting here at the computer trying to write a serious post and all of a sudden MB gets the hiccups, and I've lost all train of thought about how I was going to write about taking an atavan about an hour ago and how instead of calming me down or whatever the fuck it's supposed to do it's given me a buzz, and I don't like buzzes, not since that time in the late summer of 1972 just after I got out of the air force, the summer of grass,  hash, cheap wine, and a roll and a half of rolaids just to keep everything down. The summer of hitting on girls just out of high school with their flat asses, bare midriffs, straight hair, and the sweet smell of pot on their breath, and hey, I'm not particularly proud of it, but I'm not particularly ashamed of it either, because I was only twenty one, and  because shit happens, and shit happened to me a lot that summer until that one night I mentioned up post about that late summer night when I woke up in a field in the middle of nowhere, stark naked with Stairway To Heaven by Led Zepllin playing over and over and over on a loop through my brain, and me wondering just where the fuck the stairway to heaven started, and I think it might have started in that field, but I just missed it.

The End

A few posts back Curly implied that I have groupies, and this is my post to refute her implications.

1. I've never been plaster castered, and after doing a google image search for plaster casters, none of them guys have anything on me.

2. I've never received an email from some awe struck sweet young thing professing her undying devotion to me.

3. And the same sweet young things who have never emailed professing their undying love, have also never sent  sexually provocative, yet discreet, photographs of themselves.

4. I've never had a court ordered paternity test.

5. There has never been anyone in their late teens or early twenties trying to cash in on my fame going by the name "Boz Jr".

6. I don't have a collection of women's underwear, well, someone once sent me a pair of ... never mind.

7. Why would any of the above have anything to do with me having groupies?

8. And if I did have groupies what would the call themselves?

9. And seriously I didn't get much sleep last night and that's probably the reason this post started deteriorating somewhere in the middle of the title.

10. But anyway ... Happy Birthday to anyone who is having a birthday.

It's four in the morning and I just helped MB on a bathroom run, and did I mention that it is four in the morning, ok, yeah, I guess I did, but my question to you is ...

Why do I feel the need to make a journal entry, I mean, it's four o'clock in the fucking morning!

1. Hot flashes which were somewhat alleviated by an ice pack, but the ice in the ice pack has melted.

2. My third straight day of mild heartburn, and no, Neapolitan ice cream does not relieve heartburn.

3. I'm just having too much fun buzzing around buzznet waiting for people on my friends list to post so I can comment and validate my existence.

4. I took an atavin, or avatar, or whatever the anti anxiety med the doctor gave me is, or was, or will be, and I figure, I'm allowed up to three a day, and I'm only taking one a day, but not of that really explains what I am doing awake at 1:25 in the morning, but it does make for compelling reading for east coast insomniacs, the west coasters. and our European brethren who are just starting to wake up, if indeed they do wake up at all.

5. I miss the monkeys, and you know that monkey shirt I bought a couple weeks ago? Well, I haven't even worn it yet.

6. Oh, and I went shopping for a gift exchange package today, and seriously, the three things I found cannot help but make the best three item gift package of all time, and they all cost less than a latte from starbucks if a latte costs less than $3.50 American.

7. Ok, here's one for you. My sister's birthday is next Monday. The sister who will be leaving this Friday to drive up here from Florida, and she will probably get here on her birthday or the day after. So, as I said, here's one for you. What should I get my sister for her birthday?

8. Let's skip number 8 for now.

9. It's really kind of spooky tonight, and I'm kind of afraid to turn off the computer and the TV and go to bed, OK, I'll leave the computer on, so whenever I check in on MB I'll have something to do.

10. Still no sex drive, except for yesterday, but that was a fleeting thing.

I have been a member of a group blog for almost five years. At one time there was really a lot of participation and it was a whole bunch of fun. However, lately it has sucked pretty big time and was on the brink of extinction when I single handedly gave it the kiss of life. I think the main reason for it's almost demise was lack of new blood, so if anyone out there has a sense of humor, or likes to laugh. or likes to make posts, or leave comments, or use a tag board, would you consider becoming a member of  The Real World ... Blogger Style. Check it out, you might like it. Here is random archive page for your perusal. Random Archive Page For Your Perusal.

If you are interested just let me know,

Medicare won't pay for a nursing home, because she isn't sick enough, dementia doesn't qualify, so I had to bring MB home. The doctor did give me a prescription that should/could help with the halluciantions somewhat and help her sleep at night which would be a great help, and seriously, if she slept at night I know I could do a whole lot better than a nursing home in taking care of her.

There's so much more that I could write about in dealing with medicare and the whole health care system, but ehhhhh, not now.

Boz out for now.